Being single in the big world
Even though I can say I don’t have to explain my personal life “BUT” being a public personality I feel its my duty at least to let my fans know what I think about “Love” . Love I feel is what makes everything in this world go round, mind you it could be “LOVE” or merely the “ABSENCE OF LOVE” which can change a persons life forever .Being single for most women/girls is a whole lot of moping around n complaining but for me it is living a perfect n complete life till the right person comes along.
I broke up almost 6 years ago from a long n steady relationship Little did I know in last 6 years of trying to get over him n dealing with the immense excruciating pain of loosing the (at that time) most important thing in my life would I find the greatest gift of all … LOVING MYSELF FIRST ! I found love in my work , I found love in my human rights activity,I found a new found closeness to my parents and I found friends whose unconditional love made me a human being I am very proud of . I now sit and think ,had I succumbed to what I interpreted as LOVE I would have never discovered myself and most important .. What it is that I really want in my life !When we love we forget that love is about not only Loving another but also about being loved back equally .
Love is eternal,Love is meant to make us grow,Love is meant to make us safe,Love is meant to heal,Love is meant to inspire us, with it’s power, renew us and to bring us closer to God Still most of us want to “get into” or “Hang onto” what we think is LOVE or what gives us immediate comfort because we are scared of facing ourselves alone ..How can someone else enjoy our company if we ourselves cant spend an evening with us alone ?
Taking a break and being single is a great way to begin the self healing process . It takes time but I realized that we have to take charge of our lives and most of all get over of being in the constant feeling of being UNLOVED .
Sadly many people enter lifelong relationships where love fades away n its nothing but a companionship of conveniences without growing in its inner dimensions.That is something I didn’t want .
I want Love that is real, love that is emotionally quenching , love that is .. well ..LOVE and “HOW” am I ever going to get all that If I am a walking psychologically disturbed emotional time bomb .
It is unfair to dump our insecurities on an unsuspecting person n expect them to quench our Love led demands . Ultimately out of unlimited expectations relationships fall apart and we end up thinking Love is a loosing game,Love is compromise,Love is struggle,Love hurts (The worst one i have heard)If that’s what you are experiencing … well…. I am sorry to say you are experiencing anything but Love. Its an illusion so WAKE UP ….Start Loving yourself first … that’s what I have been doing ..its difficult but its a great feeling . By loving yourself I mean having a healthy respect for what you are n what you have . Only when you can fill yourself up can you give anyone anything . Love is no respecter of reasons it IS going to happen sooner or later , so be positive and spend that time in getting to know yourself and loving your self .
God is kind until you meet your soul mate he will keep sending you love in form of friends, family, pets, books, work… in the process don’t forget when you find your soul mate that Love is about loving everyone and everything equally … You will always have a contended relationship.
As my my favourite writer Paulo Coehlo said; “Close the door , change the record ,clean he house …stop being who you were..! Become who you are .”
CELINA JAITLY
i m truly believe in ur post, i have gone through the same situation.. almost 6 years i have gone through the phase when i was thinking that everything is going against me.. i hav started questioning GOD for my own existence, i broke up in a relationship.., i did not know what i have to do, i surrounds myself with so much negativity in my life that everything were really going against me, i never know that only shifting of my single thought could do a miracle.
(i must confess that the reason i was behind that girl becoz she has a little replica of u dear, i keep on telling her that i love her becoz she looks like u … i think i never loved her, the one whom i loved was ‘CELINA JAITLY’.. hahah)
meanwhile one of my friend gave me a copy of the video documentary named ‘THE SECRET’… oh my God it was a lottery for me, i m still practicing n learning, it gives me strength n it teaches me the benefit of loving ourself, now i broke all the limitations which i had been surrounded by.
“asmaan ki khwahish rakho, ek tara toh mil jayega”, but in my case “what i want is everything”. (no one has the right to hurt me)
Love is so precious! The kind that makes you run up the stairs to your lover, because the lift will take too long….the kind where all you can think about is her, when you are away from her.
Cel, your soulmates are already around you – your friends, your family, and your pets. You seem like a person who truly values, and will cherish the love that is truly godly. Seek out your ‘twin flame’, your ‘twin soul’. Only then can one experience the love that holds this universe together….
Don’t ever change!
ShiVa
“most of all get over of being in the constant feeling of being UNLOVED” – one line that told me, yes it is from who has first hand experience, and not saying it for the sake of saying. 6 years is a pretty long time, and taking heart from your experience, am sure by the time my 2 years will roll into 6, I too will be able to come out! You are lucky to be able to succeed in doing things u like and find “love” from so many sources.. all are not that lucky!
Just wonder, (asked Paulo Coelho on his blog too!) can their be more than one soul mate? If not then what do you do when you feel you have already met and lost her?
Between, Before and Beyond
Standing between here and nowhere
Looking beyond life and after
Standing between now and never
Looking over walls and vacuum
One step before the end
One step beyond everything else
Balancing black and darkness
Staring at the door to amiss
Walking over the bridge to somewhere
Somewhere which is nowhere
Taking the plunge with someone
Someone who is no one
Diving down the depths to find something
Something that has nothing
Standing between here and nowhere
Standing between now and never
Love comes at a cost….you have to sacrifice some thing just as valuable….the imporatnt this is that the sacrifice must be worth it.
It’s a world of give and take. Doesnt matter if ur married or not!! Btw awesum post !!
Great post. Had a wonderful time reading your thoughts.
Cheers
kevin
Love is a rare concept like any other alike. It needs cognition through honesty by sacrificing selfish cravings due to desires,and also by strong perseverence and steadfastness in persuing the truely truthful truth,maybe GOD?[who is the highest truth]///LOVE should always be unconditional,universal,and one-sided. Like the sun loves the planets unknowingly and earth bears life. Loving is also someone who are no more in this world. Who are not yet entered this world///
CJay! First, it’s so lovely to be here and read your posts. It feels like I am on the cloud nine to be here commenting on my favorite star’s website. The thing that touched my inner heart is,”for me it is living a perfect n complete life till the right person comes along.”
Hope to read more from you. I am ecstatic to talk to you.
jaatey jaatey ek shayari aapke liye:
Unki yaad me hum barson rote rahe,
Bewafa wo rahe badnam hum hote rahe,
Yaad mein madhosi ka aalam to dekhiye,
Dhool chehre par thi aur hum aaina dhote rahe.
When GOD created ” ADAM ” ……….HE also felt the need for a Companion to HIS BEST CREATION…………….and thus CREATED……… ” EVE ” ………the WOMAN….
and since, everything comes in PAIR…whether it may be…..Living Human Beings or Non- Living Things……..
like a pair of tyres are required to run a Mobile……..like a pair of track is required to run a Rail …….
similarly, MAN without WOMAN and WOMAN without MAN…………….. is like any Movie without YOU in it………….
EVERYBODY IS BORN …….SINGLE……..
BUT REMAINING ” SINGLE ” FOREVER IS THE BIGGEST CURSE……………….
and at the end……….
MERE DIL KA PATA TUMHE KISNE DIYA…….KYA TUM BHI AKELE THE MERI TRAAHA……….OO JANAM……….
Never mind……..we both get our DREAM PARTNERS……..or else will MARRY each other………..right……..
till than………..” MISS LOVE……..”
@_@
Hey CJay, Nice one…I completely agree with you in terms of taking a break and try and understand oneself first. When I had a break-off with my gal after 4 year of relationship, I have enough time to myself to understand one thing….. We human tend to give more importance to Relationship then the person… I don’t think love can be restricted in the parameters of so called Relationship…. you can love someone minus forming or naming relationship… for me its a feeling which I don’t want to bind in the parameter of Relationship..
Anyways it was good to visit your page… nice one..
They say “Each person conceals a world-
skies of hope, oceans of despair;
Kept precious behind a mask,
is a solitude they cannot bare..”
and this applies for every person isnt it ..