The naked me!
Ever since I entered the beauty industry at the sweet age of 16 I did not know that I would be beginning the biggest Love-Hate relationship of my life. This relationship began with someone I knew very well…or at least that is what I thought. This affair began and continues till date with…well…”ME”. Nobody ever gets to know of the very stressful battles behind the many numerous pictures/movies of the many faces with the so called perfect fitness, sensuality and effortless beauty. Amazingly it’s not just my story, it’s probably the story of everyone in the beauty industry, or for that matter the story of everyone (men and women’s) personal battles with how they feel about themselves, about how biggest most powerful or beautiful people (of all age groups) from all walks of life suffer from self esteem issues without ever knowing it.
Initially I personally always felt, ever since I entered the industry, no matter how many crowns I won or how perfectly fit I was, my appreciation of myself always lacked in a big way and there came a time when it would actually fluctuate tremendously by what a tabloid thought of me on a red carpet … So here was this girl with a magical life and yet oscillating between love and hate for myself.
As this continued I started becoming the Celina what others wanted me to be … that tabloids wanted me to be, that directors wanted me to be, that my partner at that point wanted me to be… that my colleagues wanted me to be…covering myself in layers of make-up, hair and fabulous clothes and jewels, and many facades in my behavior-patterns…well… as expected of a perfect beauty queen. What does one not do in order to be fabulous… worst case still, what does one not do in order to live up to your own image of what people have started perceiving you to be… funnily someone like me did everything from going days without food to drinking so much water (PS – no food except dried bread) to flush out a pimple which appeared over night that I actually had to have my car stopped at four random people’s houses to use their facilities at 8am in the morning (that incident I can write another blog about… ha ha&hellip, to having used a turmeric paste which made me glow yellow for four days… having so much coffee that I had to run to the doctor for acid control injections, not to forget the shaking hands which could not anymore even type a text message… but the icing on the cake was wearing 3 neelams (sapphires) and two emeralds, and waiting endlessly as ten pandits did yagya’s for the prosperity of my (er…kind courtesy an aunt … well…).. my “youth”… One day I realized I was living on a diet of Red Bull, coffee and of course nerves. A voice inside of me kept saying it HAS TO STOP!! And then…One fine day I said ENOUGH!!!! Where is Celina??? It HAD to be major self esteem issues (NO, I hadn’t gone mad… well, not yet) and then I realized the more I looked at people, colleagues and friends around me, I realized I was not the only one… everyone was facing their personal battles… some hid it very well, some didn’t know about it at all.
I had to break free, I had to start somewhere to find the real ME…
and over the past few years I realized that… holding onto who I was is stopping me from becoming who I will be.
Many of us aren’t accustomed to truly respecting, loving and admiring ourselves mainly due to seasoned programming from our life’s experiences etc. For me it began with the realization one day that I… despite being a perfect module, could not even look at myself naked in the mirror, bare of all the frills of hair and makeup and fancy beauty enhancing clothes. The fact is that how many of us actually ever have done that. What I found out was that it’s shocking… but it’s true… that stripped down to the basics when one looks at themselves (naked) all they see is imperfections… and that is exactly what manifests into various aspects of life in one way or the other… our constant attention to imperfections in us makes us well “NOT US”. The day we learn to face and love the naked “ME” we see in the mirror is the day half the battle with self esteem issues is won.
Can you look at yourself naked? How does that make you feel? A little squeamish? Fantastic? Can you stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself naked and appreciate what you see? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and love and validate yourself? Then try it naked? Or would you rather put a bag over your head? (I started looking for a sack … ha ha). Have you ever tried it? Well… I challenge you to do it!
I did it and learnt the biggest lesson of my life and that was… that I could not see myself naked in the mirror because despite everything, all I saw was my shortcomings and not anything positive…..It’s true …… Ok, let’s step back a moment and try just looking in the mirror (preferably naked) and looking into your own eyes and say “I love you” to yourself. How did that go? Did you try it? Or did you just laugh it off? Shrug it off and say “what a stupid idea that is?”
Most of us can’t. We either won’t do it, or we do it without really doing it. We don’t love or appreciate ourselves and find reason to ignore or pick ourselves apart. (Trust me, I have been there … ha ha… However, what if, for a moment you could look yourself in the eye and look past those “imperfections” you have labeled for yourself and just saw you – for the beauty of who you are? Can you do it? What would it do for your overall fitness and health if you could look at yourself naked in the mirror and see beauty? No, I am not crazy but believe me it works… It’s the biggest stepping stone to becoming and loving and most of all “finding” who you really are. It all begins at the basics. I realized when one begins to face their naked self in the mirror eye to eye, the realization which dawns upon you is “Look at what you have allowed to happen in your life.” What if you could see your beauty, inner and outer and love yourself. Actually feel love for yourself? It would make a total difference in your life! Once you can start loving yourself and appreciating what you have, you can move onward. Work with the beautiful you now to move toward the beautiful you, that you want in the future. It works.
I found dimensions in me I never knew existed. I am less dependent on outer beauty. I feel happy and impressed with what I have become in my life. I now appreciate all that is given to me, so that I can go out there and make a difference for myself and all those I meet. Maybe someone is waiting to learn from me! Wait a moment… I am not preaching typical beauty queen nonsense… “Beauty is not only skin deep” kind of stuff… I know no one wants to see beautiful pancreas… ha ha… all I am saying is self esteem issues can be tackled by beginning a life long romance with… well… YOURSELF…and that my friends begin with the Naked YOU. Feeling love for the stripped down to the basic no frills attached person you see in the mirror feeling love for yourself… well… It would make a total difference in your life! Once you can start loving yourself for exactly what is before you and appreciating what you have, you can move onward. Move onwards to discovering a whole new “YOU”. Now that is what true beauty is… it doesn’t matter whether you are a woman or a man or what age you are. There is nothing more beautiful than a positive confident personality.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”
Or as I, Celina says… “Be True, Be You”
“Problems become opportunities when the right people come together!”