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Being single is great: Celina Jaitley


Being single is great: Celina Jaitley

Being a public personality I feel it’s my duty to let my fans know what I think about ‘love’. Love, I feel, is what makes everything in this world go round and mind you, it could be ‘love’ or merely the ‘absence of love’ which can change a person’s life forever.

Being single, for most women, is a whole lot of moping around and complaining but for me it is living a perfect and complete life till the right person comes along.I broke up almost six years ago from a long and steady relationship. Little did I know in the last six years of trying to get over him and dealing with the immense excruciating pain of losing the most important thing in my life (at that time), would I find the greatest gift of all — loving myself first!
I found love in my work , I found love in my human rights activities, I found a new closeness to my parents and I found friends whose unconditional love made me the human being I am very proud of.

Now I sit and think, had I succumbed to what I interpreted as love, I would have never discovered myself and most importantly — what it is that I really want in my life! When we love someone, we forget that love is about not only loving another but also about being loved back equally.

Love is eternal, love is meant to make us grow, love is meant to make us safe, love is meant to heal, love is meant to inspire us, with it’s power, renew us and to bring us closer to God. Still most of us want to ‘get into’ or ‘hang onto’ what we think is love or what gives us immediate comfort because we are scared of facing ourselves alone…

Ever thought, how can someone else enjoy our company if we ourselves can’t spend an evening with us alone? Taking a break and being single is a great way to begin the self-healing process. It takes time but I realised that we have to take charge of our lives and most of all get over of being in the constant feeling of being unloved. Sadly many people enter lifelong relationships where love fades away and its nothing but a companionship of conveniences without growing in its inner dimensions. That is something I didn’t want.

I want love that is real, love that is emotionally quenching, love that is …well, love. And how am I ever going to get all that if I am a walking psychologically disturbed emotional time-bomb? I believe that it is unfair to dump our insecurities on an unsuspecting person and then expecting them to quench our love-led demands. Ultimately, out of unlimited expectations relationships fall apart and people end up thinking love is a losing game. Love is compromise, love is struggle, love hurts (this is the worst one I have heard) …if that is what you are experiencing …well… I am sorry to say you are experiencing anything but love and this is an illusion, so wake up. Start loving yourself first… that’s what I have been doing.

It is difficult but it is a great feeling. By loving yourself I mean having a healthy respect for what you are and what you have. Only when you can fill yourself up can you give anyone anything. Love does not respect reasons; it is going to happen sooner or later, so be positive and spend that time in getting to know yourself and loving yourself.

God is kind until you meet your soulmate — he will keep sending you love in form of friends, family, pets, books, work. When you find your soulmate don’t forget that love is about loving everyone and everything equally and you will always have a contended relationship. As my favourite writer Paulo Coehlo said: “Close the door, change the record, clean the house…stop being who you were! Become who you are.”

Source: Times of India

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